After my young, impressionable, teenage heart was won over by then all-around gold medalist Carly Patterson in 2004, I didn’t think another gymnast would inspire much love from me.  Naturally, a year later my love for Carly had dissipated and I was ready to move on.  Fast forward to 2008, and there were two young ladies who happened to do quite well, and made me debate which one would I rather go out with/spend the rest of my life with.  All of this of course will probably happen later, for I’m sure they’re both chomping at the bit to win my heart.

There are many factors, that go into this decison, from looks to intangibles.  All of these will be broken down here.

The general attractiveness vote has to go to Nastia for me.  Comparing her to Shawn, it’s a pretty easy choice.  Nastia is taller (5′2″ compared to 4′9″), has a better face/hair combination, and her body is phyically more attractice than Shawn’s.  Important note: I put more weight on their looks on the talk shows rather than in gymnastics, although kept both in mind.

Personality-wise, I would also have to vote for Nastia.  Granted,  all I have to base this off are interviews I’ve seen them give to talk show hosts and random interviews I saw of them while they were in Beijing.  Also, Nastia is 18 and probably more mature than 16-year-old Shawn.  But you can make the decision yourself with these next two videos (Nastia first and Shawn second).  I feel like all Shawn does is giggle and say umm…

Medal Count.  Nastia = 5 (1 gold, 3 silver, 1 bronze).  Shawn = 4 (1 gold, 3 silver).  Noteworthy: Nastia won the all-around gold compared to Shawn’s silver, and Nastia was screwed out of another gold in the uneven bars and was left with silver.

Flexibility: they’re both gymnasts - way more flexible than I will ever be – which is a plus for both.

Everything else that is worth mention I’ll throw into a category called intangibles, which, like the other categories, is won by Nastia in my book.  Shawn Johnson looks like she is stronger than me, which is not that attractive, while Nastia has a more slim look (even though she probably is stronger than me).  Nastia is almost my age (she turns 19 on October 30) and therefore considered legal, whereas Shawn is 16, and not legal (not even fitting into the aptly named “two-year rule of thumb”).  Nastia has a much cooler name than Shawn as well.

Winner: Nastia Liukin by a landslide.  Ok, now we can go live our lives happily ever after.  I’m sure after reading this post Nastia will probably give me a call and we’ll go out or something.  No big deal.